dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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