mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
