you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
