we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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