don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So many bounce houses so little time
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
