Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
