Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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