do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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