i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
