Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
did i just pee glitter
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
