Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
