so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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