I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am midnight drunk by noon
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
