God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
