so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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