he thought i was a dude.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
