he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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