we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
