What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
