im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
