Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
