just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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