i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
