Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
