Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
