I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
