Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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