mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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