I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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