They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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