found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
