I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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