Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
