just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
