omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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