I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
