I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
