So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
God, I missed his penis.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
