One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You need Xanax blowdarts
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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