I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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