I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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