Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
