I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
