I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
