dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
