As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
