Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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