So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
