His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
