Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He shit in the fireplace
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
