This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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