Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
