Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
dude. I can hear the air.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
