My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
