Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
