Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
